Damn Republican-Appointed Activist Judges

It’s not surprising but still incredibly disappointing. No, I don’t live in California. Heck, I’m not even gay. But what the hell, California! I know just as much attention should be spent on the dozens of other states that haven’t allowed gay people to marry each other at all, let alone for five whole months . . .  but I am so angry at the majority of California judges* who clearly have no ethics. They don’t have the strength of character to perform the job they’ve been selected to do: to interpret and apply the Constitution. But instead they buckled, pandering to the Right who appointed them, or maybe just afraid of the name-calling they’re sure to get anyway from the Right (well, boo-fucking woo), and in doing so they’ve made the California Constitution a joke.

A friend said to me today, “So, gay people can’t get married in California anymore, huh?” to which I responded, “Oh, they can still get married– as long as it’s to a member of the opposite sex. Sham marriages are still legal in California.”

And that is so true. Sham marriages are tolerated, even encouraged! What made my marriage (my failed marriage, btw, but that’s not super relevant right now) more valid than anyone’s? Think of all the sham marriages you know of. Off the top of your head, how many? Five? Ten? And I’m not just talking about the get-married-for-a-green-card kind of sham (which may or may not be as common as you think); I’m also talking about your aunt and uncle or grandparents who have separate rooms “because one of them snores.” I’m thinking of people who got married because of an unintended pregnancy (yes, that’s the way to make “an honest woman out of her”– by proposing  a loveless marriage). How about your friends’ parents who stayed together “for the kids”  until the youngest graduated from high school? And don’t even get me started about the politicians who run for office in Minnesota but their spouses live in California. Or the man who got married in the 1970s because he, like many people, couldn’t bear the idea of being a pariah or a freak.  (Sadly, some of these chickens went into politics, forced to seek sexual gratification in airport mensrooms). All of these marriages are bullshit, and yet, they do nothing to damage the quality and strength of anybody’s marriage, so why do some of these bigots use the “sanctity of marriage” crap as an excuse to be against equality in marriage? And how do they get away with it?

Oh, no, THAT marriage wouldn't have been a mockery at all.

It’s bigotry. It’s the majority doing their damndest to take rights away from the minority. And we oughta be ashamed.

In a recent entry in The Blarg, my friend Justin likened the anti-gay agenda of Prop 8 to the racism that we’re ashamed of in our parents or grandparents. Justin says,

You will become a family punchline, and your grandchildren will chalk you up as being both ignorant and intolerant.

“My grandparents still use the word ‘faggot,’” they’ll embarrassingly admit to their friends. “But they’re just old bigots; they’re too small-minded to know any better.”

June 12 is Loving Day, which commemorates the day in 1967 that the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Mildred and Richard Loving (an interracial couple  who fought for the right just to live in their homestate of Virginia as a married couple without worry of being sent to prison), striking down any remaining anti-miscengenation laws in the United States.  I am embarrassed and disgusted that those laws existed (let alone just six years before I was born!) and I know that Justin is right and that in forty years, people will feel the same sadness and embarrassment about the widespread persecution of gays as I do about the persecution of  non-whites.

*”It weakens the status of our state Constitution as a bulwark of fundamental rights for minorities protected from the will of the majority”– Carlos Moreno (who is the court’s only Democratic appointee).

Let’s just hope some asshole doesn’t put a proposition requiring the burka on the next California ballot. My BFF has glorious hair, and it would be a damn shame to have it covered.

New Optimism, New Ambition

Reading Justin’s post was as cathartic for me to read as I imagine it was for him to write:

http://theblarg.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/an-open-letter-to-george-w-bush/#comments

and I feel remarkably light, cool, happy. Seeing W on television didn’t fill me with the anger I usually experience; instead, I felt glad that I don’t wait tables in Crawford, Texas, so I will only have to see that stupid, smug smirk infrequently from now on.

I’m ready to do my part, President Obama (wow, that felt good to type . . . I need to type it again). PRESIDENT OBAMA, I will try to create at least as much as I consume. I will behave in ways that work to improve America’s standing. I will be more tolerant and do what I can to encourage others to also be tolerant. You’ve inspired me.

The nation’s fresh start makes me even more excited about working on the book.  That doesn’t mean I’ve worked on the book lately, per se, but I did change my phone’s alarm clock ring tone to the theme for The Simpsons so that I think about the book first thing in the morning and regularly throughout the day. 

Karma and I got a lovely letter from the president of the publishing company. He gave it a personal touch, talking about how his kids will feel about their dad’s company publishing our book, and he gave his opinion of which title (of the suggestions we submitted) we should give our book: Schooled by The Simpsons.  I like it! We just need to work out the rest of the title. Oh, and write the rest of the book.

In my head, I’ve been working out a new section working with The Simpsons and linguistics, and I’ve also been working on the thanks/acknowledgements section, which now also includes JAY LEVEY and WEIRD AL YANKOVIC, as they have granted us permission to use lyrics.  See, our book is going to include paper assignments and in-class activities that we use to teach certain rhetorical (and other) concepts, and anyone who’s met me knows that I use Weird Al in class, and I’m stoked to share my tactics with other teachers.  Plus.  I’ve got to say, I’m excited to be able to thank Al in the book and to send him his requested copies. It will be an honor.

Green Goddess on a Cracker! It’s Really Happening!

The excitement begins on a chilly spring day . . .  far, far away . . .  at a nerd convention . . .

It all started a couple years ago in Toronto; Karma and I gave papers on using humor in the classroom at a conference. An editor asked us if we were interested in turning our idea into a book, and we said sure, but nothing came of it for a while. Then Karma got an email from her, asking us if we’d like to submit a proposal. So we put together a letter proposal. She liked it and asked for a table of contents and some sample chapters. We wrote. And waited. We addressed concerns. Wrote more. Then waited more. Karma called her last week to ask about it, and she responded to Karma in an email that included the sentence ”we are planning to send a contract to you and Denise.”

my partner, Karma Waltonen. writing partner, that is.

When I saw the word “contract,” I nearly peed my pants. Then I ran around the office, looking for someone to hug. Jenn wasn’t in her cube. I walked towards my boss’s office, seeing people but no one particularly hug-worthy. My boss’s office door was closed, but I knocked and entered anyway, and said “Somebody’s fucking got to hug me.” My coworker John was the lucky recipient.  I babbled and couldn’t stand still, and finally my boss told me to quit jiggling in his office. So I let them get back to their meeting.

Karma (my brilliant and amazing best friend) and I are writing a book and it will soon have a contract, which suggests it will be published. Holy frak! And the best part is that it’s on The Simpsons. It’s a book for teachers, really, on how to use the show in humanities classes, complete with activities and paper assignments. It’s quite clever, if I do say so myself.  We have some stuff to hammer out, like permissions, royalties, and A TITLE would be good.

I’m full of hope. And beans. And sugar and spice. And soon, vodka. I’m hoping this high stays with me for a while.  I’m so stoked on the idea of being published, and for Karma to get tenure-track. The idea of making any money off of it isn’t really in my head, but my friend Justin suggested we take it to Comic Con and the like, because, as he said:

me with Justin and Mr. Fabulous

you’re a GIRL, you have huge TITS, and you’re doing a book on the SIMPSONS

NERDS will buy your book just to be able to talk to you for a minute

 And I heart Justin for many reasons, most of all that.