What Feminism (& the World) Need Now — Positivity

I’ve been playing with an idea for my blog for a while. I have a pink T-shirt that reads “this is what a feminist looks like,” and I wish I saw it out and about more often, but it takes, ironically, balls to wear it. In fact, the first time I wore it in public, I pulled my jacket closed (without even realizing it) as I entered my doctor’s office. I did this even though I feel I have a healthy amount of of feminist pluck about me.  

The problem is that people who speak up about their beliefs are often labeled unfairly, making others fearful of  possible similar ramifications. Speaking up with some righteous feminist indignation on this blog has gotten me some abuse, something I didn’t relish. It’s easier to keep quiet. So I’m not surprised that when I ask my students if there are any feminists in the room, most of them (even the women) keep their hands down.  Sadly, it’s because of the perception that being a feminist is somehow radical, ugly,super-liberal, and outrageous. But when I ask them basic questions about rights and opportunities, they voice opinions in line with feminism. I would like to see the label and the stigma go away in my lifetime. I am not a radical feminist. I am not a radical anything, really, so I don’t do a whole lot of proselytizing. I did my share when I became a vegetarian, and I’m sure my parents would attest that it wasn’t pleasant or effective*. While the occasional outburst or lecture is still unavoidable  (for an example of how an outburst got the better of me, see my previous post, “Laura Ingraham, Quit Talking About Our Bodies,”) I try instead to do subtle and personal things that promote my personal beliefs.

For me, feminism is a good and happy thing, and I want to focus on that. I know so many amazing people who positively impact the people around them, and I think it would be cool to feature different feminists (wearing my T-shirt ideally, but not necessarily) as they describe what feminism means to them. Since I have the shirt, I’m going to start with me:

Denise DuVernay: writer, teacher, divorcee, daughter, feminist, and loads of other things

 THIS IS WHAT A FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE

I’ve already established my feminist cred, I do believe. A few posts ago, I remarked that “my brand of materialist feminism includes anyone who doesn’t think human beings should be judged by their naughty bits. Or their parents. Or their cars (or lack thereof). Or their noserings. Or even an accent or tattoo . . .”. Yes, I am a materialist feminist (sometimes called Marxist feminist), but don’t go calling me a communist. I am a materialist feminist because I feel that understanding historical materialism is the key to understanding inequality, which is necessary to figure out what to do about it. It all goes back to the economic bases of societies– social classes, ideologies, education, political structures–and how cultures evolve, especially their social structures.

In a social structure where some people earn more money than others for the same work and experience, or when someone is considered unworthy for certain roles or positions simply because of their sex, sexual orientation, pedigree, or skin color, that social structure should be examined.  

Materialist feminism is not anti-male nor is it anti-white, and it’s not at all like the feminism associated with the 1970s that was mainly concerned with the concerns of straight white women.  Everyone has the same potential to be cool in my book; progress is not made by attacking some in hopes of elevating another. It just doesn’t work that way. As a teacher, co-worker, family member, and friend, I do what I can to encourage those around me to not take sex, race, looks, class, sexual orientation, or any other such meaningless classifications into account when making judgments about people, and I do my best to follow my own doctrine. I hope my students and coworkers find me fair and respectful to all (at least, until an individual gives me a reason not to be . . .).

While I do occasionally find myself on a soapbox, most of my influence comes in subtle means; for example, if a coworker or relative makes a racial slur, I will tell them firmly that I don’t accept that kind of talk. If someone calls a woman a slut (or, more recently, “town bicycle” [because everyone gets a ride]), I stand up and say, “that’s not cool!” If it starts a discussion, great. If not, that’s fine, too. As long as I don’t laugh it off or let it go as if it’s okay, because it’s not. (Which is why I wrote my previous post: What Laura Ingraham said about Meghan McCain wasn’t cool with me, and I think I made that clear).

Sometimes laws are necessary to get the ball rolling and to send a message of what’s expected and desired in society (such as hate crime legislation or affirmative action), but laws aren’t enough. Everyone has to do their small part to effect social structure changes. So the next time someone says something in front of you that you’re not cool with, say so.

So that’s installment #1 of  ”THIS IS WHAT A FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE.”  If you’ve got a suggestion or would like to be featured in a future post, contact me!

*Speaking of vegetarianism, tomorrow is Meat Out Day, and I invite you all to join me! It’s just for a day; you’ll survive.

What? There are still men out there who aren’t feminists?

We’ve all heard that women still only make a sad percentage of what men make in this country. I heard today from the National Employment Law Project (NELP) that the current U.S. number is 78%.  And I’ve heard all sorts of bullshit reasons why that is. At a holiday get together couple years ago at my parents’ home, one relative of mine even said that she’s fine with it because she’s never known a man who called in sick because of PMS. My cousin and I took offense as neither of us have called in sick for PMS and found the idea laughable. My cousin, awsome as she is, made jokes the rest of the day about getting her “women’s pay” discount at Target.  After all, if women make 78% of what men make, then all women’s purchases, cable, bills, cell phone plans, even college tuition should be reduced appropriately, right?

People, especially young women, don’t want to call themselves feminists because of the negative connotations of the word. In my classes, I tell my male students that if they think the women next to them have just as much a right to be there as they do, they’re feminists. And they get a little weirded out, because they think that feminists are militant bulldykes.  Of course, that’s not the case; only a very small percentage of feminists are militant bulldykes. I’m quite girly, and I am one mad mat feminist– I’m wearing a pink shirt today and I have a Hello Kitty toaster, for the love of poundcake!

My brand of materialist feminism includes anyone who doesn’t think human beings should be judged by their naughty bits. Or their parents. Or their cars (or lack thereof). Or their noserings. Or even an accent or tattoo.

So, as a materialist feminist, I’m already for pay equality. It’s a no-brainer. Equal pay for equal work isn’t just good for women, it’s good for families and human beings. It is just. Companies providing family leaves isn’t a P.C. way to say “maternity leave” — all employees should be able to take time to welcome new additions or care for children, parents, or other family members. That’s just good for everyone. But when I talk about these things, sometimes I get blank stares, like I am trying to explain postmodernism. Maybe to see things this way, one has to think a certain way.

But there are numbers coming in related to this recession that should encourage all Americans to be for pay equality too, regardless of how Alex P. Keaton-esque their mentalities, because it seems that men –even single and childless men– are being directly negatively affected by women’s lower salaries: According to NELP, while men make up roughly 50% of the workforce, they account for 80% of the layoffs that have occurred in this recent economic downturn. Now, that just doesn’t seem fair to me.  Even after accounting for the higher percentage of  jobs held by women considered slightly safer in a recession (like education and healthcare), there is obviously something else at play here.  And guess what it is? Yep, I already told you: it’s pay inequality. If women earned what men earn, the layoffs would be closer to 50/50, not 20/80.

Think about it: layoffs occur to cut costs, so it makes perfect sense that the employees making the bigger bucks (i.e., the men) with the better benefits are more often the employees let go. 

I love men, I really do, but I wonder how many men out there are at home, on the couch, who once sat in an office or at a conference table and decided against promoting a woman, or maybe turned down her plea for a pay raise, simply because of her anatomy.

I love women, I really do, but I wonder how many Ann Coulter clones out there (except stressed out about money and irritated with having their sad, diminished man home on the couch all day) once complained about “women’s libbers and career girls” who just couldn’t be content with homemaking.* Well, I’m not going to say “Suck it!” or even “I told you so” to those men and women. I’m just going to ask if we all get it now. Do we all get it now? Equality isn’t just good for the people fighting for it, it’s good for ev-er-y-one.

—And to any women out there who’ve been laid off, it really, really sucks, and I feel for you, but think of it this way– in your former position, you were just as valuable as a man! Rock on, sister!

*I am tempted to discuss the possibility that, historically, some women have been drawn to the idea of having a job because they need to, like, pay for stuff, as opposed to simply wanting to wear pants for a change, but that might have to wait for another entry.